Got a toothbrush?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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