One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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