she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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