I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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