Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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