thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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