some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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