I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
