okay pat passed out under dana's car
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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