Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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