ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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