it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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