i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize