I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize