My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
