toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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