I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
