I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
