that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
