That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
