Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
