just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.