I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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