so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
