I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
