So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
