I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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