everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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