the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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