I smell stomach acid.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
