butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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