the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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