He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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