Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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