I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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