Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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