I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
