Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
