Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize