I can't watch pbs sober anymore
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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