At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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