all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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