Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
