Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
