so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
