whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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