There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
