Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize