Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize