Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
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just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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