Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
