There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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