One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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