the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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