The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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