How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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