So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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