Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
