Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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