So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
