When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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