are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
