hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
